Monday, June 8, 2009

You're Welcome, Fuckers

I am so sick of our president going around apologizing for America. It's not even the fact that almost every time he speaks, he is completely wrong. It's that he is full of shit. He's not sorry. He's perfect - at least he seems to act like he thinks this about himself. Every time he tilts his chin up to that sky in that obnoxious manner during a speech and says he's sorry, he's really laying the blame on America - old America (You and me and everyone else. Not him!)

You can't keep a straight face and tell me that every time this man goes to another country and talks shit about America and how arrogant and ideologically incorrect it is, that he is grouping himself into that category. No, he's saying he's cure! It's the rest of us ugly Americans that he deems himself the cure for. This is total crap. Our young nation has the greatest resume' on Earth. And I, for one, am not going to pretend we don't. (If I really have to list for you a whole bullet point memo of our accomplishments as a nation, then you are already too dumb to be helped. Just go watch Speidi or Hugh Jackman's biceps already - I'm sorry to have bothered you.)

If I had the time and the money, every time this president continued his apology tour by going to another country and unnecessarily groveling before ungrateful Europeans with his phony "me so sorries," I would also go to those same countries, and give them the "You're Freakin' Welcome" speech. We don't have shit to be sorry for. We have sacrificed more of our own to other countries - for no other reason than a belief in liberty - than any other people in history. And that's just one thing. We have done so much more in so many different areas of life to advance humanity. And I personally don't think it's moral (yes, I still use words like "moral") to go around pissing on the work of those guys by lying and saying America is bad. In no way could I ever fathom equating the work of our citizens, policy makers, and especially our soldiers with those of our enemies - past or present.

Some people have been conditioned to believe what I am about to say is simple-minded and antiquated. It's not. Here goes: Not all cultures are equal. Some our better than others. Our is the best. It ain't perfect (we're still men), but it's the best so far. And to say that a culture that liberates others is just as culpable as one that hangs their rape victims from soccer goals is more than just untrue. It's more than just insulting. It's more than just plain crazy. It's more than I can even describe. It's one of those things that just makes me defensively laugh like a mad man because there is nothing else I can do about it.

Every time this president "apologizes" he reminds me of the spineless peacemaker friend that we all have in our lives. You know this person. You're not exactly sure how you came to be friends with this guy, but for whatever reason, you still are. You know how it goes with this guy: you're hanging out at a party and someone you don't know disrespects you in a way that must be addressed. But the minute you rightly address the wrong by saying something to the rude person like, "Hey man, you were really fucked up to me just now. You better correct yourself immediately," that's when your stupid peacemaker friend cuts you off and apologizes to the crowd on your behalf in way that is patronizing towards you (even though he knows you were right) by saying some shit like "I'm sorry for my friend. He didn't mean what he just said. I'LLLL talk to him." And then your friend gives you a cowardly whisper that no one else can hear and says, "Please, please, please. I know that guy was fucked up to you, but can you just be quiet and take it. I've waited on this party all week and I don't want you to cause a scene. I know you were right, but will you please let it go, so we can stay?"

No I can't.

That's the guy that this president is. He's constantly running around saying "I'm sorry for my dumb friend (America.) Forgive him, he knows not what he does." And he's saying this to a bunch of despicable people who should actually be apologizing to us! The nerve of that man.

Since I don't have the time or money (or ability to draw an audience) to follow this president's apology tour with my very own "Your Welcome, Fuckers" tour, I at least want the following to statement to be a part of the public record. Here goes: I want my name taken of the list.

That's right. I am my own man. Nobody gets to apologize for me. Not even our Chief Executive. I decide who I apologize to and when I do it. So the next time this man apologizes to vile world leaders on behalf of America, I want a little footnote placed at the bottom of the speech. I just want a little mark that says, "The preceding apology excludes Roth Wriscey. He is, in fact, very much not sorry. And he wants you to know: you're welcome, fuckers."

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